apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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