she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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