Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
