This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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