I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
