I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
