just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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