He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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