they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
