how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
