Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
