Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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