You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
