I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
