i already hear my dad disowning me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize