Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
