so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
