If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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