addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
