My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize