..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
