do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
