i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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