this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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