U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
