Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
