physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
