He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
