The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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