I want to stick my p in your. b.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
