from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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