his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
