Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
