can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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