So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
