I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
