I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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