My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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