Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
