There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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