they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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