i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We left the knife in your bed.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
