OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
