I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just tell him i said nine months
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
