Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We are two peas in an std pod
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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