Your dad touched me again.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
