I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
