don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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