sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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