thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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