doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
