This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
