Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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