This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
