look no pants
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize