shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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