I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
