hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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