i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
