Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
