Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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