this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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