you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
