oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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