The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
