so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
