his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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