I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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