I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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