The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
