Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she peed on how many people?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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