it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
