normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My ass is underappreciated
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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